Refreshingly Nothing

7 Apr

I think I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m a BzzAgent. It means I’m a consumer member of a company who provides samples and coupons in exchange for product reviews.

The goal is to incentivize (positive) word-of-mouth marketing in order to sell more products. It’s honest.

The latest product I’ve received, however, isn’t honest at all. Or, rather, it lies by deletion.

Welche’s Refreshingly Simple™ juice proudly boasts in all-caps:

  • NO HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP
  • NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS
  • NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS

And that all sounds wonderful. However, the listed ingredients are:

  • Filtered Water
  • Sugar
  • Apple Juice Concentrate
  • Grape Juice Concentrate
  • Citric Acid
  • Natural Flavor
  • Mango Juice Concentrate
  • Peach Juice Concentrate
  • Beta Carotene

Here’s the deal about product labels. Ingredients must be listed in order of what is most present to what is least present. Therefore, this product contains more sugar than juice.

I love me some sugar; I don’t deny it. But I like my sugar honest. If these were Welch’s Refreshingly Simple™ Ice Pops, I’d be down. But it’s juice. It’s supposed to be what I give my kid with his breakfast or in the afternoon as a little pick-me-up.

Juice isn’t really healthy in the first place; all of the healthy parts of the fruit get removed. But that doesn’t make it evil. Marketing sugar water as juice, however, is just a fucking lie.

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