This isn’t pasta. It’s a hot salad.

25 Sep

“Spaghetti squash is a delicious alternative to traditional pasta!” all of the shitty food blogs have told me.

It’s a lie. A damn dirty lie.

Health nuts (and even a spattering of my friends) are lying to themselves if they think this is true..

I made spaghetti squash the other night. I cooked it in the oven. Seasoned it. Scraped it. Dumped on marinara sauce.

I’m not sure what I was expecting. After all, squash is a goddamn gourd, not a wheat product.

My mouth was primed for pasta. What I got was a mouthful of salad. Hot salad.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t bad. However, most of my life spent eating has been people giving me a plate of sides expecting that to be a full meal (you know, because of the vegetarian thing). So I know what a side dish is even if I’m confused about a main course.

Coincidentally, I’m not the greatest meal planner in the world. I’m not anywhere near the top because I’ve been groomed and programmed to eat nothing but side dishes. I’m gullible; Brussel sprouts is a main dish for me now. However, spaghetti squash as a main course didn’t fool me. Or satisfy me.

This is something that should be served BEFORE you eat your real meal. Or dumped on top of your real meal as a garnish. Or scraped out so you can turn the squash into a jack-o-lantern.

Spaghetti squash is no substitute for pasta. Nothing is.


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