I have mastered cooking popcorn on the stove.

22 May

Popcorn is one of my favorite snacks. Ever since I was a kid, I would eat the microwave variety in between meals.

But I keep hearing and seeing things about dangerous chemicals lurking in the bags. Or how whatever-the-flavoring-is is soaked in death. Is swearing off of microwave popcorn being dramatic?

Who cares? It’s a shit-load cheaper than buying pre-bagged popcorn. Not to mention, I can flavor it however the hell I want to. Cinnamon? Do it. Cayenne pepper? Yes, please. Sea salt? Bring it on.

So if you’re a popcorn lover (as opposed to a popcorn fighter?), here’s the easy way to get popping.

  • In a small pot (don’t you dare ask me what constitutes small, I couldn’t tell a quart from a pint to save my life … let’s say quart), pour in a tablespoon or less of oil. I don’t give a shit what kind of oil you use. I like olive, but you may want to use grape. Just use something that doesn’t burn. What won’t burn? I’m not a real, trained chef. How would I know?
  • Smear it around with whatever spice you want. Then dump in like a tablespoon of popcorn. Don’t do more than two! That crap expands like nuts. Oh, and stir the kernels around in the oil a bit to get them all coated and shiny.
  • Cover the pot with aluminum foil and poke lots of holes in it. You want to keep popcorn from jumping out, but you also want steam to escape. If the steam stays in, you get soggy popcorn. No one likes soggy popcorn.
  • Turn on the heat. My stove gores from 1 (low) to 10 (high). I use 8.
  • LISTEN! It’ll take a minute or two to start popping depending on your stove (mine’s electric, you gas people are on your own). When the kernels start jumping, just move the pot around and shake them all up. That way they won’t burn and stick to the bottom.
  • When it’s done, it’ll stop popping. It won’t take long.

Now enjoy the best popcorn ever. Let me know how it goes.



2 Responses to “I have mastered cooking popcorn on the stove.”

  1. eat-shift May 22, 2012 at 3:34 PM #

    Put sea salt in a mortar and pestle and grind it into salt “dust” to get something similar to what you find in movie theater salt shakers. It holds on to the popcorn really well because it is so light.

    • Queen of Awesome May 22, 2012 at 4:15 PM #

      Ah, thank you, Eat Shift. I always feel like a badass when I get to use a mortar and pestle.

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