Hot dog-stuffed crust? You’ve crossed the line, Britain.

11 Apr

The Brits aren’t known for their stellar cuisine. They serve horrid stuff like mushy peas with mint and … well, to be honest I can’t get past that. Because peas are the worst food imaginable.

But then I happened across an article this morning about the newest Pizza Hut item on the east side of the pond: hot dog-stuffed crust pizza.

After jamming pizza crust with cheese and meat, is there really even a point to having the rest of the pizza? Why not just eat a hot dog?

Normally, I’m a huge fan of insanely gluttonous foods, even though they usually don’t follow my strict self-inflicted dietary restrictions.

The KFC Double Down: a breadless sandwich with two fried chicken breasts holding it together.

The Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos: a taco with a shell made out of the same artificial shit Doritos are made out of.

The McDonald’s McGangBang: an off-the-menu monstrosity featuring a McChicken sandwich stuffed inside of a double cheeseburger.

These foods make me laugh. And even though eating them every single day would no doubt kill you, a little indulgence after a particularly drunken night might actually be good for your soul.

But shoving a hotdog into pizza crust? It’s fucking insulting, really. Culinary treason!

Is this one of those examples of British humour? Something that we Americans wouldn’t understand? Is this really an elaborate Monty Python sketch?

I’m afraid not. It’s just another example that British food is pure shit. And that’s before you digest it.

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