I don’t even like Pepsi, but I was once a hopeless addict for Pepsi Twist.

28 Mar

Way back in 2002, Dr. Brew and I were sharing a dorm room, a food shelf, and a mini fridge. And one fateful day, she carried in a 12-pack of Pepsi Twist.

Please note that in the on-going battle (created by ad agencies more so than consumers) between Coke and Pepsi, I’ve always sided with the red can. After all, it’s so Uh-mer-can.

But there was something about adding lemon to soda, even if it was overly sweet Pepsi, that was intriguing to me. So we popped open a few cans, took some swigs, and addiction was born.

I went from drinking maybe a soda a month to guzzling down two or three a day. After I drank all of her Pepsi, I actually had to go buy some myself to replace it. I don’t think I had ever in my life purchased a multi-pack of pop. Yeah, I fucking said “pop” and I’m from Texas. Confused?

But that shit was so good. And I freaking needed it! I’ve never tried heroine, but I’m going to go balls out and say that it’s something like Pepsi Twist.

The whole thing was funny at first–two skinny freshman just giggling and drinking Pepsi Twist. But then we started neglecting our studies. Instead of writing our essays and prepping for tests, we’d just lay on the couch and suck Pepsi Twist through straws. Then we quit going to work, so paying for the Pepsi Twist proved difficult, but by  not spending money on food we managed to get by for a little while. Then we naturally had to turn to prostitution. As our teeth rotted from all of the corn syrup sweetener and our bones became brittle, all we could think about was our next lemony fix.

Eventually, when we awoke one day in a sticky soda puddle in an ally somewhere, one of us wised up and said, “We need to quit this shit.” So we did.

Then we discovered Vanilla Coke.

I have been Pepsi Twist sober for almost ten years now.





One Response to “I don’t even like Pepsi, but I was once a hopeless addict for Pepsi Twist.”

  1. mcbeester March 28, 2012 at 5:50 PM #

    I recall a time where we went to walmart, not having much food on the shelf,but going to get Pepsi Twist.

    How are we alive? Seriously. Between that and that giant chocolate bar we had on our coffee table, this is a miracle.

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