“Adult beverages” are for assholes.

19 Jan

I hate the phrase “adult beverages.”

Don’t say “adult beverages” in place of “drinks” or “glasses of wine” or “beers.”

Don’t say, “Let’s go get adult beverages after work.”

And don’t you ever fucking ask me, “Are you drinking an adult beverage?”

Because it’s childish. And I will punch you.

Saying “adult beverages” makes you sound like an idiot who’s trying to sound smart and clever. There is nothing smart and clever about the phrase “adult beverages.”

“Adult beverages” is like “athletic garments” or “intimate wear” or “juvenile activities.” They’re douchebag ways to say simple things.

Like saying “utilizes” when “uses” will work (not suffice).

Ask me to go get drinks if you want to split a bottle of wine, because that’s what I will be ordering. Not an “adult beverage.”

It's a travesty that Googling "adult beverages" turned up so many dickhead images.


2 Responses to ““Adult beverages” are for assholes.”

  1. David Campbell November 14, 2013 at 12:37 AM #

    I can’t stand that phrase either. One of my most hated phrases

  2. Vic October 17, 2017 at 11:12 AM #

    I love you.

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