A non-smoker trying an e-cigarette. File this under “Dumb-Shit Ideas.”

11 Jan

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So smoking isn’t eating. Fuck you, I write this blog and I’ll write about whatever I want to write about.

And today, it’s e-cigarettes.

I’m not a smoker. Full disclosure: I’ve never ever smoked a cigarette. Partly because my mom convinced me that I would die since I have asthma. Partly because I’m just to cheap to buy cigarettes. Partly because I worry about the color of my teeth.

So I know nothing about smoking cigarettes. I can’t even hold one without looking like a tool.

But another copywriter friend of mine is working for an e-cig company, so when another copywriter informed me she was an e-cig user, curiosity took over.

Did you know the tips light up? Or the they’re rechargeable? Or that the nicotine cartridges come in various levels (even no-nicotine) like the gum?

They come in different lengths and colors–true cigarette being the most popular, I’m assuming. And you can “smoke” them almost anywhere.

The copywriter friend who uses it smokes it in the office at her desk.

Anyway, as she was showing it to me and I was holding it and staring in virgin wonder, she said, “Try it.”

Try it? But I couldn’t. I’ve never smoked.

But it looked so … I don’t know … like a cigarette. Dirty and forbidden and it would make my mom cringe.

But it WASN’T a cigarette. So she WOULDN’T cringe. So it would be okay.

So I awkwardly held it between my two fingers. Then thought better of it. Then I held it with my pointer finger and thumb, like I was holding a joint. Then I thought better of that and did the two finger thing again.

“You have to pull on it like a real cigarette,” she told me.

Pull? What does that mean?

I pretended it was my trusted asthma inhaler. And I inhaled. And I coughed. (What a puss, right?)

But it was interesting. Warm. Tasted like … tobacco? Apples? Vapor shot out of my mouth and nose.

And then I felt dizzy. I guess she has the high-level nicotine cartridges? I have no idea.

But it’s been about fifteen minutes and I literally want to run around the building. Is this what smoking is like?

No wonder it’s so damn hard to quit.

I want a cookie. I need some water. I need my pulse checked.

Faking it.


One Response to “A non-smoker trying an e-cigarette. File this under “Dumb-Shit Ideas.””

  1. Patrick S. July 22, 2013 at 12:38 PM #

    Lulz. I was wondering what a non-smoker would experience in trying an e-cig. Now I know! Thanks for the post 🙂

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