I’m a grown-ass woman. Which is why I eat peppermint sticks like a kid.

9 Jan

I bought a box of soft peppermint sticks this past weekend.

And every time I eat one, I can’t help but pretend that it’s a cigar or a big cigarette.

I’ve been able to legally smoke for ages now (which I don’t). Yet I still childishly fantasize about smoking with my candy.

So this weekend as I offered my box of peppermint sticks to my husband or friend, I never asked if they wanted a peppermint stick. I always offered them a cigarette.

Why? I can’t explain it. But every peppermint stick will cease being candy just long enough for me to hold it between two fingers and place it like a Marlboro between my teeth. Then after that initial taste, it will once again be peppermint and not tobacco.

And as if on cue to justify my behavior, not an hour ago while a peppermint stick dangled from my lips—sans smoking pantomime, mind you—a co-worker said, “Looks like you’re smoking a cigarette there.”

I was, good sir. I was.

I wonder if someone makes a peppermint patch.

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