Bacon gone wild!

29 Nov

The Dirty Canadian loves bacon. That’s no surprise. I love bacon in pancakes, cupcakes, drinks, popcorn and chocolate. I love it on pizza and burgers and sandwiches. I love it with eggs. I love it on salad. I love it all by its crispy, salty, porky self.

And while I might occasionally, in a fit of salty breakfast ecstasy, profess that I love bacon enough to have to sex with it, I don’t actually mean it.

Unfortunately, these people do.

No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. That’s actually Bacon Lube, courtesy of J&D’s. Apparently what started as an April Fool’s joke is now being manufactured for real.  BECAUSE PEOPLE DEMANDED IT. What I want to know is who the fuck was asking for this? It seems like a thinly-veiled attempt at bribing bacon lovers into giving more blow jobs or eating more pussy. Who is stupid enough to fall for that?

I can’t think of anything less sexy than meat flavored lube – except perhaps this ad which manages to bring advertising and pigs to a whole new low. If I was a pig I would be offended by this sweaty, photoshopped Abercrombie asshole wearing a fake pig nose.

What’s even creepier is that, according to their site, the lube is “vegan safe” making it a great gift for the vegetarian in your life. I don’t know many vegetarians who would be cool with being slathered in bacon lube, vegan or otherwise. Care to weigh-in on this one Queen of Awesome? 

Bacon, you’ve gone to far.

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One Response to “Bacon gone wild!”

  1. Queen of Awesome November 29, 2011 at 10:20 PM #

    All I can think of is the movie “Deliverance.”

    Squeal like a piggie.

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