This post was written by a Thanksgiving Turkey.

23 Nov

In honor of the USA’s Thanksgiving (I must specify since the Dirty Canadian is actually Canadian … it isn’t an entirely cheeky name) we allowed a turkey to share his opinion on what he calls “Genocide Thursday.”

 

Gobble gobble gobble. You are all fucking horrible people. Gobble gobble gobble. Even you vegetarian assholes eat fake turkey. How does that help? Gobble gobble gobble. Please don’t kill all of my … Oh, look! Corn! Gobble gobble gobble. You like bacon more than turkey, right? Gobble gobble gobble.Gobble gobble gobble. That wasn’t corn. It was growth hormones. Gobble gobble gobble. And penicillin. Gobble gobble gobble. Ah, fuck it. What do I have to live for anyways? Gobble gobble gobble. It’s not like I’ll ever be president. Gobble gobble. Oooh. Corn!

 

Pardon me. Seriously. Pardon me!

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