I won’t even eat quinoa. I’m definitely not subjecting my dog to it.

10 Nov

Quinoa makes me throw up, and not in that I’m-joking-and-only-saying-it-makes-me-sick way. It literally makes me regurgitate.

I belong to a group of people who for whatever reason can’t tolerate the super-healthy proteins and amino acids in quinoa. I could get really scientific, but then I’d cease being funny. And if you aren’t funny, you aren’t shit.

Anyway, I received my daily doggie deal today and it was for quinoa cookies. Like hell I’m giving that shit to my baby puppy. He already vomits from eating mushrooms he roots up in the yard (he’s part truffle pig, I think). I certainly don’t want to find out that he’s allergic to quinoa by getting splashed with dog vomit.

And quinoa vomit is unlike any vomit you’ve ever experienced.

You can read the blog I previously posted about the evils of quinoa. But I’ll sum it up again. Thirty minutes after eating it, my stomach literally implodes to the size of a marble as everything I have recently eaten shoots out of my mouth like water from a pressure washer.

True story, last time I had the quinoa pukes, I removed a layer of porcelain from the toilet.

Does quinoa make dogs puke like it makes me puke? I'm not going to be the one to find out.

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7 Responses to “I won’t even eat quinoa. I’m definitely not subjecting my dog to it.”

  1. katia July 4, 2012 at 10:38 PM #

    Wow, hehehe! Thanks, Queen, for making me laugh off a still-queasy-from-quinoa stomach. Just went through the jet-puke myself (bleargh!) a minute ago, and came rushing to Dr. Google to check if it could be due to the quinoa and amaranth I added to my granola for dinner.

    You’re right on the mark by labeling it a “good food that sucks”. Super-healthy my @ss, tomorrow I’m back to pizza, steak or whatever is deemed “unhealthy” – after all, those never made me puke!

    Thanks again for the laugh – and the information. 🙂
    Katia
    (a reader from Brazil)

    • Queen of Awesome July 4, 2012 at 11:04 PM #

      No problem, Katia. And always remember … Quinoa is evil and you’re never alone.

      Thanks for the comment!

      • Vicki January 24, 2014 at 6:55 AM #

        Oh me too! I haven’t vomited yet, but this is the 3rd time I have had quinoa and felt so nauseated afterwards! Previously I was fine with it! My partner had been violently ill ages ago, but I thought it was just something he ate!! It was!! The quinoa. I am definitely NOT buying that quinoa cook book. Back to millet for me.

  2. kaely July 7, 2012 at 12:39 PM #

    I’m glad I found your blog, my little Son (9months old) is allergic to Rice Cereal of all things, and we are trying to find a grain that he can do, and today we tried Quinoa which I assumed couldn’t possibly cause any problems, no to mention our nutritionist strongly recommended it! After eating it he was fussy (but he’s a baby, they get fussy right?) and then took a very short nap, woke up even fussier! (this was about 1.5 hours or so after eating it for the first time) and puked and then was happy.

    On the one hand I’m happy you have info because you’re right in saying that most of the info on the internet says Quinoa is amazing and I agree to some extent, but now my little guy is having this reaction and I’m back to square-one with grains (which is why I’m not happy).

    I would be super interested in the scientific information that you mentioned isn’t funny – or even a link to some more info on reacting to it. Thanks!

    • Queen of Awesome July 7, 2012 at 4:58 PM #

      Hi Kaely.

      It’s surprisingly difficult to find the negatives about quinoa! But here’s a start:
      http://www.allergy-details.com/food-allergy/cooking-quinoa/

      There’s a coating on it called saponin that most blame for the sensitivities. I also recall reading somewhere that there’s a trace amount of (something natural) that is either an ingredient or is very similar to aspartame, so phenylkttonurics shouldn’t eat quinoa (I think).

      I’m going to keep googling in the meantime and will update as I find things.

      Good luck finding something your son can eat. It isn’t fair to be so tiny and already have to cut out so much.

      • kaely July 7, 2012 at 6:34 PM #

        I have actually seen that site, and it does have some helpful information, although it’s similar in saying ‘some people are sensitive and we don’t really know why’ kind of. Those are my own words, not a quote from them! 🙂

        I do know about the saponin on the outside and bought pre-washed and then thoroughly washed them again since I was already nervous because of my son’s previous sensitivities. It is increasingly difficult to know what to feed him because of the lack of info he gives us on how he’s feeling after everything he eats.

        Thanks again for the info!

  3. HMCWriter January 23, 2015 at 5:26 PM #

    Yep, puking like a a trooper right now. Thanks for the post.

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