Avocados beware, for the Super Bowl cometh.

25 Jan

As a professional copywriter, I never get to say “Super Bowl” because using an NFL trademark in advertising is punishable by death.

As an unpaid blogger, I get to say it all I please. So Super Bowl, Super Bowl, Super Bowl.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the real history of the Super Bowl. More specifically, Super Bowl cuisine.

Many people believe the Super Bowl is called the Super Bowl because it’s the biggest bowl game around. True, but not the reason for the large name.

It’s called the Super Bowl because of the humble little avocados. Because they’re consumed by the bowlful on the holiest of Sundays (degrees of holiness are obviously subjective; a Super Bowl can only be as holy as the teams competing).

But it wasn’t always this way.

Chips and dips were always a football-party standard. They’re easily shared, tasty, and go great with beer. But one faithful day at a HUGE Super Bowl party somewhere in California, a couple forgot the dip. Flustered, the host and hostess had mere moments to come up with an alternative before guests arrived. They tore their kitchen apart, searching the cabinets for something creamy and edible.

And in the last moment of desperation, bent over the bowl of chips, hair still in curlers, IT happened.

A chunk of the wife’s homemade avocado facemask slid from her nose and onto a chip.

“Hey, that’s food!” cried the husband.

The couple hurriedly ran to the avocado tree in the front yard and plucked the fat fruits from the branches. Then they mashed and bashed like crazy to create not just guacomole, but avocado dip. They threw in sour cream, added onions, and salted it to perfection.

Guests ate the new creation like mad. They devoured bowls of the stuff. And history was made.

And if you believe any of this, you’re mad, too.

Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Super Bowl.


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