Don’t let the (Gingerbread) Man get you down.

12 Jan

The evening started out innocently enough. I arranged bowls, measuring utensils, and ingredients along the kitchen counter and set out to mix the perfect dough for a gingerbread man.

I shaped him and lovingly put him into the oven. Filled his cakey body with heat, and made him whole. Then I decorated him with icing, sprinkles, and gave him a candied heart.

I set him in the oven for safe keeping as I went into the other room.

That’s when I heard the crash.

Running back into the kitchen, I heard shrill, wicked laughter coming from the oven. Scared, I stood and stared as lights flashed within my oven. And smoke billowed out of the vent.

That’s when the door came crashing open. That’s when HE came stomping out.

He was no longer my sweet little gingerbread man. Something evil had gotten into him while resting in the oven a second time. Disfigured and lopsided, with M&M buttons in all the wrong places. His eyes misshapen. His candied heart smashed to chocolaty bits.

He snarled as he leapt to the floor and took off across the apartment. Then he smashed through a window and was never seen again.

And all I’m left with is a dirty kitchen. And a Picasso-esque ginger bread man shaped hole in my window.

You can't catch me, bitches!


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