Jell-O makes me shudder, much like Jell-O does itself.

19 Oct

Ask me what the grossest food imaginable is, and I’d have to tell you it’s Jell-O.

I’d rather drink goat blood than try to stomach Jell-O.

Even in college when my fellow co-eds would slug down shots of the jiggly stuff mixed with tantalizing amounts of alcohol, I could only turn my head and try not to gag.

Because nothing edible should move like Jell-O does. Hell, nothing at all should move like that.

When Bill Cosby was the spokesman for Jell-O, I gave it another shot. Like most kids, I adored Bill Cosby and wanted him as my dad. So I tried to eat a Jell-O Jiggler. And I almost died. It was the worst thing I ever ate (if you could consider spitting it up and rushing to the bathroom eating).

Now when I’m presented with a gyrating mess of Jell-O, I can just tell whomever that I can’t eat the stuff as a vegetarian. “Jell-O comes from gelatin which comes from animals,” I learned to say. Sometimes I’ll add, “And eating animals goes against my religion,” just for insurance (some people would still try to get me to eat the stuff).

The vegetarian/religion defense is the only thing I have, because for some strange reason, most people love Jell-O. And they can’t possibly understand why anyone would have anything against it. “I hate Jell-O,” doesn’t cut it.

WHY!?!

I can’t understand why anyone would want to eat it. It just gets grosser the older I get. In fact, I can’t even consider it food. It looks too much like the gel cubes that keep plants hydrated.

Satan's Bowels

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One Response to “Jell-O makes me shudder, much like Jell-O does itself.”

  1. DirtyCanadian October 19, 2010 at 7:58 PM #

    I hate it, too. HATE IT. I gave the sugar-free stuff another chance last year because it’s literally 10 calories a cup. Nope. Couldn’t do it. I’d rather be fat than eat Jell-O.

    Jell-O puddings however, are an entirely different story.

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