Please don’t eat that at your desk.

13 Oct

My sense of smell is compromised, I’ll admit. I have raging allergies that leave my nose useless this time of year.

But right now, despite all of the pollen and ragweed and sensory-depriving nasties floating in the air, I can still smell whatever it is I’m smelling.

Which I believe is hot dog shit.

Why someone would choose to eat hot dog shit for lunch is beyond me. I mean it’s waste, so it can’t be nutritious. It smells like hell, so it can’t taste good (although dogs are known to chomp down on fresh turds from time to time). And texture? It’s probably the one thing worse than Jell-o.

But even if someone enjoyed the ripe flavor and squishy feeling of hot dog shit, you’d think he/she would refrain from making that public knowledge. Besides, dog shit is for flaming paper sacks, not lunch sacks.

Apparently, I have a thing or two to learn about other’s diets.

Ugh, this smell is making me nauseous. I’ve never wished for a stuffy nose before. I’m afraid if this goes on much longer, I will vomit on my computer.

Which would smell far better than hot dog shit.

 

You're lunch will be ready in two hours.

 

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