Turtle Burger—Many Animals in One (Although No Real Turtles)

10 Sep

Leave it to the vegetarian to write about the latest meat fest.

Someone virtually introduced me to the Turtle Burger.

The thing is insane, creepy, and I’m sure delicious—but I’ll never know. Maybe I can make a tofu version. Although that would also be creepy. Food shouldn’t look like anything living. Even gingerbread men make me a teensy bit sad.
I digress.
The turtle burger has hotdog legs (with little turtle toes), a head, and a tail. The crunchy shell is a lattice work of bacon. And the innards are hamburger meat topped in cheese.
It sounds like a real turtle, no?
Anyway, if you’re trying to commit suicide by coronary blockage, buy the proper ingredients, create this monster, and stuck him in a 400 degree oven for 20–30 minutes.
If you use ketchup (or catsup), you’re a sick, sick bastard.

Not going to beat the hare now, are you?


3 Responses to “Turtle Burger—Many Animals in One (Although No Real Turtles)”

  1. DirtyCanadian September 10, 2010 at 4:49 PM #

    I love bacon. And cheese. And hot dogs. But this kind of makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I used to have a pet turtle (named Kitty, of course) and this looks too much like her.

    • Craig September 10, 2010 at 4:59 PM #

      Mmmmmm….delicious Kitty.

    • JD September 17, 2010 at 5:41 AM #

      Wow-this burger reaches a whole new level of GROSS!

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