This Doritos truck is an asshole.

10 Sep

Yeah, I just called a truck an asshole. Why? Because it was obnoxiously parked across not 1, not 2 , not 3 but 4 parking spaces in a busy strip mall during lunch time. And they weren’t even giving out free samples. It was just parked there. Taunting me with its white-bellied obesity and faded cheese-covered corn chips. Like I said, this truck is an asshole.

Who even eats Doritos anymore? Nacho Cheese should be called Nacho Feet and there’s nothing cool about Cool Ranch.

(Ok, I lied about that last part. Cool Ranch Doritos are pretty cool.)

But I think I’m most mad about the fact that their evil (but kind of genius) product placement tactic worked on me. You see, despite the fact that I had to circle the parking lot 3 times to find a spot, I still added a bag of Doritos to my meal. Because while my mind was screaming bloody murder. my tummy was rumbling louder. And it wanted something cheesy with an extreme crunch.

I hate that I ate you. But I kicked your left tire on my way out so we’re even, Doritos.


One Response to “This Doritos truck is an asshole.”

  1. Queen of Awesome September 10, 2010 at 1:57 PM #

    Nacho feet. I almost choked on that.

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