Accidental Addiction

8 Sep

My dad is a caffeine junkie, one of those types who can’t function without a jug of the blackest coffee in the morning.

He would always tell me that one day, I too would need coffee to survive.

Once I was an adult.

For the last few years, I’ve been very proud of myself for not becoming a caffeine junkie. Because I don’t drink coffee in the mornings.

I drink green tea instead. And I drink it all day.

And only yesterday, someone told me  that my healthy green elixir actually has far more caffeine than I thought it did.

So I attacked Google with my frantic word search. And low and behold, some green teas do contain beaucoups of the jittery stuff. Perhaps even more than home-brewed coffee.

But not all of them.

But how am I to know this? Most of my boxes and packages of tea DON’T CONTAIN THE NUTRITION INFORMATION! What in the hell? Fucking crayons contain the health information!

Although I have a faint memory of a Lipton box boasting about the low-caffeine content of their green tea. Perhaps that’s where the misconception was born.

Le sigh. I feel as if I’ve been lied to most of my life.

Now, pardon me as I go shoot this tea between my toes. It’s only nine o’clock and I’m not awake enough to write anything that makes me money.

It may as well be black tar heroin.


One Response to “Accidental Addiction”


  1. Jack with my eggnog? Now you’ve gone too far! « - December 9, 2010

    […] My little broken heart then drank some green tea. Although I’m not even sure what’s in that, either. […]

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