James and the Giant Peach Pie

10 Aug

As some of you may know, my non-advertising dream job would be to own a pie shop/truck. Yep, I have both a university degree and a college post-grad and I just want to bake pies. Pie makes me happy. Pies make EVERYONE happy – just ask the Queen of Awesome.

You may not like every single pie in the world. God knows, I can certainly do without mincemeat pie. (WTF is mincemeat anyway? It sounds like someone fell into the wood chipper and you baked their remains into a flakey, buttery crust. No thanks, Sweeney Todd.) But there’s got to be at least one pie you wouldn’t mind having smashed in your face.

So to honor my pie dream, every couple of weeks I try my hand at a new pie. I look for a recipe that makes me salivate and then I attempt to make it. Having had no formal “pie training,” it’s always a crap shoot. Will it turn out? Will it taste as good as it smells? Will it fall apart when I try to cut it? Will I embarrass myself by serving it? You see, unlike cupcakes, cookies or candies, you can’t really test a pie before serving it – at least not when you bring it to a dinner party. You just kind of have to pray that it turns out ok. Thankfully, I seem to have a knack for it.

Yesterday I walked past a guy selling fresh peaches at the farmer’s market and the smell almost brought me to my knees. It was intoxicatingly summery. Drunk on fuzzy peach fumes, I bought four pounds and went home to make a peach pie. Not just any peach pie, but a peach pie with a pecan streusel topping.

I brought it to a friend’s house for dinner (and the latest True Blood episode). We waited until after dinner to eat it – and believe me when I say it took every ounce of self-control the three of us had. Still warm from the oven, we served it with a scoop of creamy vanilla ice cream.

It was the perfect summer dessert. I couldn’t believe how good it was.  I wanted to smash my face right into the middle of the pie. I wanted seconds and thirds – not helpings, but whole pies! I wanted to make out with myself for making such a retardedly awesome pie. How am I single when I can make a pie like THAT? (Email me if you’re cute – and American.)

And I’m fairly confident that James would have much rather lived in my peach pie than just a regular (albeit, giant) peach.

At the end of the night, I was torn between good manners (leave the pie for my hosts) and greed (TAKE IT HOME AND EAT THE REST WITH MY BARE HANDS). It broke my heart, but I left without the pie.

I do, after all, have the recipe.


8 Responses to “James and the Giant Peach Pie”

  1. JD August 10, 2010 at 2:23 AM #

    Damn, that really made me wish I was there to eat that pie with you (and watch true blood). Lets not forget that you also make an unbeatable banana cream pie…Mmmmmmm

    • DirtyCanadian August 10, 2010 at 4:12 AM #

      JD, i wish you were here, too. Not just to eat pie but in general. At the very least, I wish pie was something you could ship. Perhaps that will be one of the first things my pie shop will do – figure out how to deliver fresh pies to Canada (and to Texas).

  2. Queen of Awesome August 10, 2010 at 3:00 AM #

    I am going to come to LA and we are going to bake pies the whole time.

    And then eat them on the beach.

    • DirtyCanadian August 10, 2010 at 3:30 AM #

      Yes. And YES. If you come visit, we will bake as many pies as we can possibly carry to the beach! In fact, every time I bake a pie I think: “Would the Queen of Awesome like this pie?”

      If we still lived in the same city, I would make every Sunday, Pie Sunday. And you would come over and we would make (and eat) a new pie!

  3. Kim R August 10, 2010 at 11:42 AM #

    I want in on the pie party! I don’t even like peaches, nit this sounds delicious! Put me on the list for mail order pies.

  4. Brittany August 10, 2010 at 4:49 PM #

    I don’t know if you heard the loud HA in the office but that was me after reading, “I wanted to make out with myself for making such a retardedly awesome pie.”

    First of all, I can’t believe I wasn’t the person who said this. Secondly, we need to go to Bay Cities, eat sandwiches, go to the market, buy fruit, and then bake a pie. What are you doing this weekend?

    • DirtyCanadian August 10, 2010 at 5:07 PM #

      Well, I think you just made my weekend plans for me! I’m down for all of the above.

  5. Allie August 10, 2010 at 5:07 PM #

    I did not know this about you. Now that I do, we need to make pies. and drink, and watch TrueBlood. I’ve never made a pie from scratch but its on my baking to do list. We need to get on this…

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