Food is for eating.

9 Aug

Stop putting perfectly good food into my skincare products. Food is for eating, plain and simple. And jarring it for cosmetic reasons is just a heinous act that I cannot condone.

I don’t care how smooth your skin is after an invigorating sugar scrub treatment. Because sugar is for sweet tea, cookies, and cocktail rims. Not for sloughing off dead skin. You can use inedible sand for that; it works great (and perhaps better).

And I’m sure the feeling of avocados in your face mask and moisturizer must feel like heaven. But add some onion and garlic to that avocado, and it tastes like heaven. I’d like much better to coat the inside of my tummy in avocado than my eye lids.

And what’s with all of the goats milk soap I’m seeing now? Sure, goats milk isn’t everyone’s favorite, but that doesn’t mean it should be banished to the bathroom sink. When goat cheese, for example, is balled up and lightly fried, it’s a fantastic addition to any leafy salad. Trust me.

I read somewhere once that mayonnaise is great for your hair. I could never put mayonnaise on my head … I’d be too busy trying to lick my scalp. Besides, think of all of the sandwiches that would never happen.

There are so many food crimes happening daily:

  • Tea bags on puffy eyes.
  • Olive oil to wash/moisturize.
  • Milk to soothe.
  • Fruit to de-puff.
  • Egg to … I have no idea what.
  • Coffee and salt to exfoliate.

It’s criminal to use food for any other purpose other than eating. And I am officially petitioning the use of tasty treats for skincare.

Food goes in here [points to mouth] and not on here [points to cheek].

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