Candy-Coated Crack

9 Jul

I have a sugar addiction. I don’t even try to hide it – except late at night when I eat candy under the covers. And I fear that this addiction is much, much more dangerous than a “real” addiction. How can that be you ask? It’s just sugar. Sugar doesn’t kill. (Unless you are diabetic.) For all intents and purposes it’s a 100% legal, no ID required, seemingly harmless substance.

But when combined just right, like in the new Pretzel M&Ms, I might as well just crush it up and snort it. Yeah, I just said that.

The thin candy shell, milk chocolate layer and salty pretzel center are overwhelmingly intoxicating. And at only 150 calories a bag, it seems like a relatively smart snack choice.

Until I put them in my cereal.

I find myself scanning store shelves, hoping to catch a glimpse of that bright blue bag. If I don’t see them, I will drive to another store. I’m pretty sure I’ve even sleep-walked to get them.

I’ve become a shameless pusher of this candy-coated crack – buying bags for coworkers so they can experience the sweet, salty high and smuggling them across the border into Canada where they aren’t yet on the market.

I thought writing about them would get the craving out of my system. But I’m just drooling at my desk now. So I’m off to score this afternoon’s fix plus a couple bags for later.

And no, I won’t share.


2 Responses to “Candy-Coated Crack”

  1. JD July 10, 2010 at 6:56 PM #

    Candy-coated crack indeed! Pretzel M&M’s swept into my life in the spring and left me with an addiction I can’t fulfill in this country of mine 😦 Please send supplies, am willing to compensate and/or exchange for Canadian goods.

  2. DirtyCanadian July 10, 2010 at 7:29 PM #


    I will happily enable your Pretzel M&Ms addiction if you would be so kind as to send me as many Nibs as Homeland Security will allow across the border. Stay tuned for a category featuring treats that can only be found in the Great White North.

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